FACTS

My last few posts have been mostly questions.
This is because (a) I don't know what I want, (b) I don't know what to do, because I don't know what I want, (c) I don't know why my mind changes so frequently, and (d) I don't know how to make myself happy these days, because my mind is always changing and I don't know what I want.

So I've decided to make a list of things I do understand:

-I want brown nail polish. Legitimate, dark chocolate, not sparkly, not glossy, brown nail polish.

-I need a new coat. One that is professional enough to wear to work and warm! My pea coat just isn't doing it for me. I'm freezing and it's only October.

-I should be writing a Spanish narrative essay right now.

-I should also be studying for the two tests I have tomorrow.

-Or at least be napping.

-I'm happy I did not have to go to work today [not because I hate my job, I absolutely love it] because I have so much to do and I would have had no time to do it in. Now I have enough time plus procrastination time.

-Boys are stupid.

-I am so overly excited and beyond ready for fall break this weekend. I cannot wait to go home, be fed, and lay around for 5 whole days.

-I need a pet. Unfortunately, the only "pets" we are allowed to have here live in water boxes and cannot be petted. Therefore they are not pets.... I need fur and am soon going to force someone I know to get some sort of living creature that I can love and nurture for them but they can house.

-Texting causes problems.

-Studying not in my room, and especially not on my bed, is much more efficient. I went to my favorite coffee house last night and man was that a good idea!

-I like it when people remember my name and recognize that they know me [this makes me uncontrollably happy and maybe that's silly, but it's not my fault that I remember almost everyone's names and faces, can't some people remember mine?].

-As foreign as spontaneity is, I love it. I should embrace it more often.

-My sisters are evil, that being said, I want to spend the entirety of fall break with them.

-I need to make a photo album of all of my pictures from Spain.

-I need to print off pictures to put up in my room so that I am no longer looking at the random people whose pictures came in the frames.

-I need to vacuum.

-I also need to watch Dancing with the Stars.

-I hate the cold, but I would love to go skiing right now.

That's a pretty good list. Makes me feel like I do have some control over my life, because even with all of that knowledge, I also know that I will only do what I have to do today. And I will probably take a nap. And I will still puzzle over things that are out of my control. But at least I can know that not everything, that I want or that I need to do, is a mystery.

--Brynn