Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

I feel like I have my whole life together. Like I'm an adult. FINALLY.

Because....

-I have my own place. Well, I share an on campus fancy shmancy [dish washer and washer and dryer included] apartment with 3 other girls. We all get along well. I'm only close friends with one of them, Rorie, and other than random venting fests, we mind our own business.

-This is the first year since I've been at school that I have not had to deal with a psychotic roommate. The past 2 years I lived with another one of my high school friends. Her boyfriend was crazy, but she spent all her time with him. She threw fits when I hung out with Rorie, Kendall, and other people, claiming that I didn't care about her and never wanted to see her. It's hard to see someone when their cheating boyfriend lives across town and they always need to be there...

-I cook for myself. Usually just mac n cheese or some sort of rice concoction. Pasta is popular too. Regardless, it's more than toast or microwaveable mystery something or other. I also eat lots of fruits and veggies. Something I cannot say I did last year.

-On that same note, I buy my own groceries. Which I did today, list and all. I forgot my reusable bags though and almost waited to go to the store. I realized I wouldn't be able to eat and forged ahead anyway.

-I have a job. Even though I'm a full time student, I'm managing to go to work every day after class until around 6. This is technically called an internship, but it's paid, so I consider it a job. I love being there, which is just an added bonus.

-I'm managing to keep my grades up! 18 credit hours and all.

-I clean. Vacuum. Scrub the toilet. Wipe down sinks. Not fun, but necessary.

I absolutely love the feeling of self-sufficiency, but I can't help feeling like something's missing. Like if my life is so perfect why can't I find a boy to share it with. And that may sound crazy, it does sound crazy, I am in no way looking to marry anytime soon. It would just be nice to have someone to cuddle up next to every now and again.

P.S. Check out John Mayer's album, Continuum. It's the only thing I've been listening to lately. Kendall claims it's the perfect fall album and I'm starting to believe her. I can't get track 8 out of my head...maybe because it reminds me of a certain boy and how things between us are all sorts of messed up and they probably won't get better...

--Brynn