say anything

In my head there is currently a battle of the songs.

Song One: Crush'd by Say Anything

Song Two: Less Cute by Say Anything

It is totally possible that I got the new Say Anything CD this weekend. The album is self-titled and decent. Not as good as those in the past, but it's Max Bemis and you have to love that.

Why are these two songs battling in my head? I like to think of it as a metaphor. I know I haven't gone into much of my love life on this thing. It kind of freaks me out. I know we are semi-anonymous, but...it could en awkwardly.

Here's a little back story: I have been hanging/seeing one guy since last February. NOTHING HAS EVER HAPPENED. We have talked about it happening, we have talked about how our fights feel like breakups. But no. No kissing. 4 hugs total. We did sleep in the same bed twice (scandal, I know...). Pathetic. And I was so hung up on him. This was the guy I was bound and determined to get back into my life. I'm comfortable around him, he makes me laugh, we can hold a decent conversation, I know personal things, it all just felt right. But physical stuff was awkward because when I met him he was just getting over a break-up and we swore up and down we'd just be friends. Lame.

Now: Things are the same between me and that boy. Except we fight a lot. About me wanting more and him being scared of messing everything up. Too bad for him I moved on. Kind of.

[This is where we are getting back to my original point about the two songs.]

Yesterday I may or may not have had a nap date with a different boy I have been flirting with all year. And during said nap date we may or may not have slept comfortably, followed by talking while he cuddled with me, followed by several cute moments where we were practically kissing but still talking, followed by us actually kissing...and then continuing that. Until we were interrupted by the screeches of my room mates.

I do like this boy. I am not just using him. He means a lot to me. I was totally comfortable when we were laying in my bed. Too comfortable almost. Unusually comfortable for me. Getting so cozy so fast. I think I am trying to make the situation more messy than it is because I am so used to things not working out. Kendall and I kind of discussed that earlier.

Only problem is, I can't remember which song I was singing to myself while he was here yesterday. One is good, one is not so good.

Yes. Listen to the songs. Understand where I am coming from. Enjoy Say Anything if nothing else.

--Brynn