Today I have thought a lot about my family dynamic.
I have three younger sisters. 18, 16, 14 (Yes we are all exactly two years apart, my parents rock...)
However, in school age, they are a senior, junior, and freshman in high school. Which basically means that while I have been away from home at college for almost 2.5 years, they have re-formed the family and sibling bonds without me.
This was made more than evident over fall break. I still have my place at the table, my mom still puts my clean laundry in the space it's always filled, my room is virtually untouched, I get claim on the front seat without a fight, life goes on as it always had when I was home.
But there are little things, things that bug me, that are different. Like my dad being nicer. What's up with that? Why when I called last night was he all happy and smiley? And I know this is not a phase because he was like this when I was home and my sisters can actually joke around with him. This simply did not happen when I still lived there. He was a big grouch who sat in our living room and shouted at people...ALWAYS. And my sisters. What's up with them all getting along? It's like now that I'm gone, they can all be friends. But they don't want to be friends with me.
This is not the family where I am welcomed home with open arms. I am merely there, to fill my place, complete the puzzle, but it's not as if I was missed. They have gotten used to life without me and I absolutely cannot stand it. I was used to being the favorite sister, the one my mother always turned to, the creative girl who could fix/draw anything...no more. They have found someone else to do this for them and moved on.
We have always been referred to as the [Insert last name here] girls, but I have not heard this in quite some time. We all look alike, we are used to being lumped together, but not anymore. Now my sisters all have some special secret handshake and I'm the leper. Which is made perfectly evident by my not so subtle little sister's statements of: "No I don't miss you, why would I miss you?" and two of them talking about their inside jokes right in front of me and making fun of me when I don't get it.
This whole situation was probably not helped by the fact that I spent a month in Spain this past summer or by the fact that I declared I was not moving home for this coming summer.
I have only one thing on my side: my oldest sister will be heading off to college in the fall, then we'll see how she likes it on the outside, maybe we'll bond after all...
However, in school age, they are a senior, junior, and freshman in high school. Which basically means that while I have been away from home at college for almost 2.5 years, they have re-formed the family and sibling bonds without me.
This was made more than evident over fall break. I still have my place at the table, my mom still puts my clean laundry in the space it's always filled, my room is virtually untouched, I get claim on the front seat without a fight, life goes on as it always had when I was home.
But there are little things, things that bug me, that are different. Like my dad being nicer. What's up with that? Why when I called last night was he all happy and smiley? And I know this is not a phase because he was like this when I was home and my sisters can actually joke around with him. This simply did not happen when I still lived there. He was a big grouch who sat in our living room and shouted at people...ALWAYS. And my sisters. What's up with them all getting along? It's like now that I'm gone, they can all be friends. But they don't want to be friends with me.
This is not the family where I am welcomed home with open arms. I am merely there, to fill my place, complete the puzzle, but it's not as if I was missed. They have gotten used to life without me and I absolutely cannot stand it. I was used to being the favorite sister, the one my mother always turned to, the creative girl who could fix/draw anything...no more. They have found someone else to do this for them and moved on.
We have always been referred to as the [Insert last name here] girls, but I have not heard this in quite some time. We all look alike, we are used to being lumped together, but not anymore. Now my sisters all have some special secret handshake and I'm the leper. Which is made perfectly evident by my not so subtle little sister's statements of: "No I don't miss you, why would I miss you?" and two of them talking about their inside jokes right in front of me and making fun of me when I don't get it.
This whole situation was probably not helped by the fact that I spent a month in Spain this past summer or by the fact that I declared I was not moving home for this coming summer.
I have only one thing on my side: my oldest sister will be heading off to college in the fall, then we'll see how she likes it on the outside, maybe we'll bond after all...
--Brynn
p.s. it's hard for me to imagine my youngest sister living at home, alone, with my parents for two years while the rest of us are in the "real world." I'm glad I got those two years of solitude when I was a baby, because honestly, the lack of attention parents pay when they have 3 other kids to worry about was pretty darn nice!
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